Ideogram

Guest Judge Comments on:
Ideogram's
House of Books (has no windows)

7 point(s) for Composition / Songwriting
Like the way the song builds but would prefer the title to tie in with the lyrical hooks to make it more memorable. Think 'Breaking Me In' might be a more interesting title. Structure/tune is strangely familiar.

7 point(s) for Performance
Good performance, interesting instrumentation.

7 point(s) for Capture
A bit muffled sounding in places. Voice too low in the mix I think, the 'fucks' seem to cut through most and not sure that's the best idea.


21 Total Points
Promising and original approach, would suggest they just think about how best to get their ideas across.


johnkennedy
Fri Dec 25 09:46:10 2009

Guest Judge Comments on:
Ideogram's
House of Books (has no windows)

9 point(s) for Composition / Songwriting
Lovely opening section...especially love the way you can hear the artist breathing etc over the music.

Well structured vocal line, interesting melody LOVE the chord change at 0:30...unusual yet perfect.

Well used lyrics, for me the best songs have melodies that mirror the lyrics, this does.

LOVE the beat at 2:28..not of the norm, elevates the whole tune.

Only falls short of a 10 mark in my mind as it doesn't have that one super-mega catchy hook that stays with you after 1 listen...also I think the swearing detracts from it...seems lazy rather than necessary.

9 point(s) for Performance
MMmmmm i like...very tender voice, great use of falsetto, seamless in fact.

Tight musically, great use of instrumentation gives a really tender song an epic feel.

Very strong.

8 point(s) for Capture
I think the recording could be slightly better, this still sounds to me a touch demo-ish, quite lively rather than studio produced - but that's not always a bad thing.

The larger sections sound very grand and strong.


26 Total Points
Literally all that is missing is that one killer hook that returns to capture a listener after one listen.

Find a catchy lyric with a catchy tune and repeat it throughout the song...hook people in. "You were breaking me in" almost does it...but I had to search for it rather than it just coming right out at me.

Otherwise very good.


alexbaker
Fri Dec 25 09:46:10 2009

Guest Judge Comments on:
Ideogram's
House of Books (has no windows)

7 point(s) for Composition / Songwriting
Good song - a little bit too long.

8 point(s) for Performance
Good, fresh performance.
A passionate vocal. If you're going to use expletives in a song, it had better be very effective for the narrative of the song, otherwise what's the point? It's a cheap shot, and it just gets bleeped out on the radio/TV.

5 point(s) for Capture
Good recording. The rhythm guitar, ukulele, mandolin (?) is a good fresh sound, but you could develop the arrangement of the song by building this sound later on with electric rhythm guitar, then dropping back to the acoustic rhythm sound at the end. The second verse needs a stronger, new idea to develop the arrangement. The cello (sample?) is a nice sound, but it needs to contribute more, melodically.


20 Total Points
Continue like this - you should be successful - beware of Snow Patrol comparisons....


mickglossop
Fri Dec 25 09:46:10 2009

Guest Judge Comments on:
Ideogram's
House of Books (has no windows)

7 point(s) for Composition / Songwriting
As I said in your main category this is a really good song with some fine touches of originality. In the cotext of being a solo artist you need do a lot better lyrically - and develop more of the sections of clever and delightful weaving of lyrics and melody.

7 point(s) for Performance
To be really impressive as a solo performance it needed another level of vocal performance to really take off. As I said before rough though it is the live version of this has more magic.

8 point(s) for Capture
Good simple production and well constructed sounds. However the combination of performance, composition and arrangement could have contributed so much more and required more enhancement to promote you as a solo performer.


22 Total Points
Although I think you have great potential,this vocal style is very much used right now though and therefore everything has to be much more special to get noticed. You need to develop it all a bit more to become more original. There is something special in your live performance you need to exploit more.


tonyplatt
Fri Dec 25 09:46:10 2009

Guest Judge Comments on:
Ideogram's
House of Books (has no windows)

5 point(s) for Composition / Songwriting
The arrangement has a little too much fat for my liking! Strip it down a little length-wise and it could work much better. Its a nice song though and the lyrics are good. I really like the vocal melody.

3 point(s) for Performance
Quite a leaden performance all round. The drummer needs to simply what they are doing until they can really pocket a band. The vocals are pretty nicely delivered. A little more attention to ends of words could work wonders.

2 point(s) for Capture
Balance is pretty bad here. Quite a lumpy mix with minimal definition. The top end of the kits pokes through uncomfortably. The vocals need a LOT more work sonically.


10 Total Points


emreramazanoglu
Fri Dec 25 09:46:10 2009